20
“BGWYN” and “Confidence with Curves”
Taylor Cathey
BGWYN
Every Black Woman has a story.
Nina Simone sung her song of four women with black skin,
Peaches, Sarah, Saffronia, Sweet Thing.
My name must be added to the song.
Because if I hear, “BLACK GIRL WHAT’S YOUR NAME?!”
one more time it’s not going to end well.
Every time I hear “BLACK GIRL WHAT’S YOUR NAME?!”
Hold up, do you know who you are talking to?
Only badgering for the accolade.
Look at this face and mind,
The crown is what makes my presence,
Dark Chocolate dipped in Gold,
A Goddess walking the earth with greatness in a step,
Not one to provoke,
I spit bars wrapped in Silk Glitter Smoke,
The knowledge I possess will leave you woke.
I live to see a shining crown on another curly, braided mind.
Heal wounds, turn tragedy into triumph.
I can be anything because I know who I am and I don’t dim the light that shines from within.
Look at the gold trail, they’re following because I’m the truth.
Nina is looking down from heaven right now,
“I saved my best for last. The worth of all of our sistahs is complete.
My sistah tell us what your name is?”
I am Magik.
Confidence with Curves
My favorite experience on Roberts Wesleyan College campus was when I auditioned to be a model in a club fashion show. I was in chapel with my peer mentor Katelyn Ireland when we met a leader of the club SMAC (Student Multicultural Advisory Council). She was hosting auditions for their fashion show. Katelyn immediately asked the leader to add me to the list of contestants. One of my childhood dreams has always been to be a part of the fashion industry as a model or fashion designer. I was excited, and Katelyn was happy to help me too. My dream was finally coming true. I walked around with a smile on my face. On my way out of a class, I grabbed the flyer and put it into my portfolio, slowly a nasty childhood insecurity unmasked itself. My weight.
I was known for drawing clothes, not modeling them. For a long time, I kept the part about modeling a secret because I was bullied for being a heavy-set girl. The idea about being on stage in front of lots of people made me question my decision. Plus-size women were breaking barriers in the world of fashion and beauty, but maybe I didn’t have what it took to be one of them. I was no Ashley Graham or Danielle Brooks. I sat and thought for a few hours about the decision. So, I chose to ask to be a host if I couldn’t model. My mom told me to give it a shot and do it for myself no matter what. I took a deep breath and continued with my plans.
On a cold February afternoon, I walked the long way to the lounge across the street. I walked in, introduced myself, and told them choices. “Oh, I’m sorry the host was already chosen. So do you just want to model?” I said okay and set my things down. I chose my song and strutted down the long line and gave them all of me. I swung my hair, I bent over, struck my best poses, and did it with a smile. They were impressed. I felt my heart beat out of my chest.
March had arrived. Every Wednesday through Thursday night it was practice night. I made sure to bring the energy and work hard. I brought clothes to wear and planned my songs ahead of time. When I practiced my moves, I became a version of myself I didn’t know I had in me. Katelyn and Rose, my mentors, were there to cheer me on. The fashion show was the night of my twenty-fourth birthday. It made it ten times more special.
The next week I was going to meet the designer I was chosen for. I couldn’t wait to see what I’d be modeling in.
Unfortunately, the fashion show didn’t happen. The campus was shut down due to Covid-19. Although I didn’t get to walk the catwalk, I was proud of myself and everyone for the work we put in. I can look back on this experience and say I took a chance. I also left a great impression. If an opportunity like this is handed to me again, I’ll surely take it.
Curves and all.